深美周一心动一课|PTA Class-How to talk about sex and love with teenagers
家长课堂:如何跟青春期孩子谈性说爱
How to talk about sex and love with teenagers
3月15日本周三下午,深美国际学校又开展了一周一次的家长课堂,到场的妈妈们认真聆听、积极分享,从妈妈们的分享的教育法宝中,我们对青春期孩子的养育又有了更深的认识。
为了帮助大家了解青春期孩子身上产生了哪些变化,Aline老师为大家讲解了青春期大脑发育的速度、激素的分泌和前额叶发育不充分带来的影响。在身体、心灵正发生迅速变化的青春期,孩子的人生处于塑造发展的黄金时期、最关键期,很容易因为教育的问题处理不好引发严重的后果。比如青春期常见的叛逆、亲子关系紧张、早恋等问题,归根到底都是家庭教育的问题。
Aline老师为大家介绍了美国心理学家艾瑞克森提出的“人的社会心理发展8阶段理论”,青春期的孩子正处于需要建立身份认同的阶段,他们需要在生活学习人际中不断积累自信心和成就感,并探索自己的内在人格和社会身份。如果没有完成这个阶段目标,孩子长大以后就会一直内心迷茫,不知道自己到底擅长什么,工作为了什么。如果青春期的探索很成功,孩子就会充满自信地找到并坚持自己未来人生的方向。
家庭教育所有的方法都来源于一个基础,那就是温暖支持的亲子关系。父母们努力营造一个温暖的港湾,让孩子身心疲惫的时候可以依靠。除此之外,积极鼓励的引导和适度的惩罚也是必要的方法。
妈妈们开始分享起自己的育儿困惑和经验。
M女士:我的孩子非常社恐,每天把自己关在房间里,不跟家长沟通。穿宽大的衣服把自己的身材全部盖住,每天就2件衣服换来换去,我都看腻了。她自己也懒,不去买衣服。非常社恐,非常恐惧自己在众人的目光下,说自己考试成绩差,自我贬低。
Allie妈妈:青春期的孩子需要自己有独立的空间,小朋友的阶段才会粘着妈妈,青春期孩子反而不那么需要妈妈了。建议A孩家庭尝试宠物治疗,长久的亲密陪伴宠物可以做到。
Peter妈妈:现在的孩子可以在网上获取一切资源,信息爆炸的时代,家长根本无法阻止。美国的性教育教材还是太大胆露骨,不适合给中国的孩子使用。
家长们畅所欲言,在彼此的陪伴和支持下获得了对养育自家孩子更深刻的理解,通过学习和交流收获了专业的知识和独特的视角。期待下一场家长课堂,会有更多志同道合的妈妈们加入我们!
On the afternoon of Wednesday, March 15th, SAIS held our weekly parent class, where all our mothers listened carefully and positively shared, and we had a deeper understanding of how to parent adolescence and children from intense sharing experiences.
In order to help us understand how changes occur in adolescence and children, Ms. Aline shared the speed of brain development, hormone secretion and the impact of insufficient prefrontal lobe development during adolescence. In the adolescence period, when the body and mind are undergoing rapid changes, children are in the golden period of development and the most critical period of shaping and development, and thus it is easy to cause serious consequences due to poor handling of parenting problems. For example, the common rebellion in adolescence, parent-child relational tension, early love and other problems are, in the final analysis, problems of family education.
Ms. Aline introduced the "8-stage theory of human psychosocial development" proposed by American psychologist Erikson, adolescences are in the stage of building identity, they need to accumulate self-confidence and sense of achievement in life, and explore their inner personality and social identity. If someone does not complete this stage of goals, children will always be confused when they grow up, not knowing what they are good at and what they work for. If the exploration of adolescence is successful, the child will be confident to find and stick to the direction of his future life.
All methods of family education come from the one foundation, that is warmful and supportive parent-child relationship. Parents strive to create a warmful harbor for children to rely on when they are physically and mentally exhausted. In addition to this, actively encouraging guidance and moderate punishment are also necessary methods.
Moms began to share their parenting confusions and experiences.
Ms. M: My child locks herself in her room every day and does not communicate with parents. She wears wide clothes to cover body completely and change 2 clothes every day, I am tired of watching. She is lazy and does not go shopping for clothes. She is very social fear, very afraid of being under the eyes of everyone. She used to put herself down.
Allie's mother: Adolescence need to have their own independent space. Only children are stick to their mothers everyday, but adolescence barely need their mothers. It is recommended that families with ADHD children try pet treatment, because long-term close companionship only pets can do.
Peter’s mother: Today's children can access all resources online, and in the era of information explosion, parents simply cannot stop it.
I think American sex education textbooks are still too bold and explicit for Chinese children.
Parents share freely, and also gain a deeper understanding of raising their children with each other's company and support. Parents learned not only professional knowledge but also unique perspectives through learning and communication.
Looking forward to the next parent class, and more parents will join us!
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